Colleague Asks For Too Much Support From Peer
DEAR HARRIETTE: My co-worker keeps leaning on me for support even though we both are in the same leadership position and have our own teams to run. She gets frazzled when there's a lot on her plate. I'm the opposite: When I feel overwhelmed, keeping my composure is the only thing that helps. But because I am calm and don't panic when I have a lot on my plate, my colleague often turns to me, asking me to review her work or asking me to offer her coverage when her team is short-staffed.
It's gotten to a point now that sometimes our supervisors notice her demeanor and ask me to take on some of her responsibilities. I think it's unfair for me to have to assume some of her workload just because she is a bit more scattered, especially when we were hired under the impression that we can each handle our own teams. How do I get my colleague and our superiors to understand that? -- Overload
DEAR OVERLOAD: For now, do your best to fulfill your job responsibilities and help out when you can. Your superiors have noticed your capability and your willingness to help when support is needed. When it comes time for your yearly review, be prepared to talk about your ability to lead, including how you have had to take up the slack for your colleague. Ask for a promotion based on your performance throughout the past year.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband recently got into running, and now I feel like he would rather run than spend time with me and his children on the weekends. He runs on Saturdays and Sundays with different running groups, and then he goes out with people in the groups for lunch. Before picking up running, he would make the family breakfast and we would all spend time together playing outside with the kids or doing other activities as a family. I've asked him to stay back at least one day of the weekend with the family, but he has told me no multiple times.
I am happy that he has found something he enjoys, and I don't want to take that away from him. At the same time, I feel like his new hobby has completely changed our family routine and left me feeling like I am doing most of the parenting on weekends. The kids have started asking why their dad is always gone on Saturdays and Sundays, and I don't know what to tell them. I have tried explaining to him that I am not asking him to give up running, but he doesn't seem to understand why having one weekend day together is important to me. I miss the time we used to spend together as a family, and I worry that if this continues, we will become more disconnected from each other. How can I get him to understand that I am asking for balance rather than asking him to give up something he loves? -- No More Running
DEAR NO MORE RUNNING: Encourage your children to ask their dad to spend time with them. When they ask you where he is, suggest that they speak to him. Separately, tell your husband again that while his new hobby is good for his physical health, it is damaging the family dynamic. Ask him again to give one day of the weekend to the family. The children are growing up and need their father, and you need your husband.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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