ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been going to a nail salon twice a month for two years. The owner and staff are all Vietnamese. My manicurist gives wonderful mani-pedis, and I have no complaints about the service.

At some point during each appointment, and sometimes several times while I am there, the owner and some employees will have a conversation...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have just returned from a weekend at a so-called friend's home, and talk about feeling unwelcome. She was on my heels "cleaning up" after me all weekend, and I didn't make a mess!

I was given a towel and washcloth. After using them, I neatly hung them on her towel bar, only to be later told that they had been moved to the ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my friend of over 50 years and I lived only an hour and a half from each other, I spent a great deal of time at her house. This included spending time with her husband, and we all got along very well.

But on their 45th wedding anniversary, which was my last time to visit as I was moving away, her husband propositioned me...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I are professionals who contribute generously to many charities. Of late, however, we are noticing an unsavory practice of certain "society hosts" who head various charities: They invite us to their galas and parties, charging for the honor of being invited in order to raise money for the charity.

We have ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Why is it considered rude to ask an adult his or her age?

It's a fact of life, just one aspect of a whole person, and it's not like keeping it a secret is going to prevent the onset of old age.

GENTLE READER: The sad answer is that our society considers growing older to be a misfortune, if not a personal failing.

People, ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I took a new colleague to lunch. We were having a nice conversation about baseball when he said, "I've always felt inferior for being short."

Huh? I said, "Maybe you'll grow up."

Stupid and mean, but what was I supposed to say? "Everyone loves you anyway"? How was I supposed to react? He IS short. Should I have told him he's...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I understand that one usually does not decline gifts. One accepts the piece of bric-a-brac gracefully, and after some tactful time, regifts or donates it.

But my in-laws give us furniture. Not single pieces of treasured family heirlooms, or even a single chair -- entire suites of furniture! A bedroom set, a dining room set, ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do you thank people for their support after a devastating fire destroys your home?

We just had a grease fire in our propane grill. I did what I always do: I turned the burners off and shut the propane tank valve, then closed the lid and waited for it to go out.

Well, this time it didn't go out. Instead, it burned through...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I hope you will weigh in on a situation that has caused quite a hubbub in our community. At public meetings, a member of our school board knits. It seems rude to me to be preoccupied when you are supposed to be listening to reports from the staff or comments from the public.

Others defend her with outcries of, "You're dissing...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received an invitation from neighbors to a house party to meet a mayoral candidate in our town. I RSVPed that I hoped I could make it, even though I already knew that I supported another candidate, the incumbent mayor.

Shortly thereafter, the campaign manager for the incumbent asked me if I would put a yard sign for him in ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I find the word "perfect" is now overused to the point of confusion. It seems to have replaced "OK," "thank you" and even "message received."

I hear "perfect" as I'm filling out forms or giving someone information. But the speaker doesn't mean "no mistakes" or "that's correct." It just means that I have the information that ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: For work, I often attend meals with assigned seating -- not just assigned tables, but individual chairs. I really enjoy these events, since they are opportunities to talk with seatmates I may not know well, or at all.

So I returned to using assigned seating at dinner parties in my home, hoping to replicate the opportunity for...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm a college student who used to share the common area of my dorm room with one girl, Missy, while a third roommate, Artemis, has her own room with a door. She has a boyfriend (with his own apartment) who is over all the time, which I didn't mind, because he's a nice guy.

But since Missy left, Artemis and her boyfriend have ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live with my daughter and her husband. He prefers to be the cook for dinner, and he's good at it.

He also has a new job as a mechanic. He changes oil and tires, and is training as a master mechanic apprentice. He's a great guy and I'm very happy for him.

The issue is that he comes home and washes his hands before he cooks,...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Long ago, when one was sick, friends and acquaintances would bring over soup or a casserole; offer to straighten up, and even do laundry; take care of your children for a few hours so you could rest; let you know that they were praying for you, etc.

What happened? Today, getting sick is treated as some kind of moral failure, ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My lovely sister, Grace, married a man who is difficult. Keith is loud, often inebriated, and quick to anger. So much so, that after a misunderstanding at Grace and Keith's wedding rehearsal dinner, harsh words were screamed, and Keith challenged my husband, Jason, to a fistfight.

He issued a pretty weak apology, and for my ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work in a public middle school and am a licensed teacher. It is a matter of course that adults refer to each other as Mr. or Mrs. Smith, especially in front of students or when referring to adults in their conversation with students.

My issue is with an aide, who continually addresses me by my first name in front of ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter and I could use a refresher course in how to answer the seemingly endless questions regarding her marital status.

She is a 23-year-old full-time college student, happy in a relationship, and not terribly interested in getting married yet. But more and more she is enduring "the question" from seemingly well-meaning...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm turning 30 and decided this would be a great age to throw a birthday party. My long-term partner recently left me, and I really want to show my friends how much I appreciate them being in my life.

When I've gone to events after COVID, I've noticed they have a lot less structure and are overall less formal. While I do want...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Starting about 1 p.m., my next-door neighbors began a very loud party. It was Saturday afternoon, and I've been on the other side of "too much noise" complaints myself once or twice, so I decided to be tolerant.

After several hours of very loud, pounding music that necessitated closing my windows so that I could hear my TV, I...Read more